Keeping silent on health issues

I find it very sad when people feel forced to keep their illnesses private. As you may have heard, Jackie Collins, the author, died this weekend of breast cancer. Apparently she was diagnosed six and one half years ago with stage IV breast cancer and only told her daughters.

Many people do not tell others about their ailments for a variety of reasons. Some may want to keep their health private but others I think feel forced to keep their health private. I can understand this at some levels. Why open yourself up for pity or stupid platitudes that we all want to avoid?

But then I think there are people who keep their health issues quiet because of potential bias from employers, friends, and family. The stupid 'they got *** so they are going to die' mentality. They are ready to ready to plan your funeral and split up your belongings immediately.

A woman who I worked with told me when she hears about someone's cancer diagnosis, she is ready to write them off because cancer will get them soon. This is just so sad. Others keep their health silent because they do not want to damage their career. Managers don't want to hire people who might drop dead on them, or require lots of health care and time off.

Our culture tells us those with health issues must be treated differently. When I go to the grocery store with a wrist splint on, the baggers always put two items in each bag so to 'accommodate' my perceived health. These same baggers fill the bags up when I don't have a splint on. Yes they are being polite but overly accommodating. I have no more desire to deal with twenty bags of two items each than two bags of twenty items each. But some kind of balance in the middle would be good for all. Or you could ask how heavy I want the bags to be. That would be an appreciated accommodation.

Too many people make assumptions about other's well being. Perhaps if they asked instead of assumed we would all be happier. And no cancer is not going to kill us tomorrow so stop treating us as if we were made of glass.Treat us normally. Thank you.

Price gouging

That's the only term for when drug companies hike prices 5000 percent. One drug went from $13.50 to $750 (no I am not missing a decinal point). Thats a big price increase. I could not believe it when I read the article.

"Although some price increases have been caused by shortages, others have resulted from a business strategy of buying old neglected drugs and turning them into high-priced “specialty drugs.”"

And its not just one drug, its several. So what happened to the old justification of the research and development costs are so high? There were no new development costs. Probably just marketing crap, once again.

My doctor appointment yesterday

Yesterday I saw my knee surgeon. He operated on my right knee, formerly known as my bad knee, 15 years ago. He and his physicians assistant are very nice and have a good sense of humor, which is the most important skill any medical professional should have. I admired his tie - a Jerry Garcia. His PA cracked jokes and made fun of my use of my bad knee to climb up on the table. She told me I was supposed to lead with the good knee.

They both poked and prodded my knee. Physical therapy has helped but not enough and it has been giving way on me.

I did ask which knee was my good knee now. The doctor said the left knee was catching up to the right one (which has two meniscal tears and a partially torn ACL). He thinks there might be a meniscal tear in the left one now to go with the osteoarthritis in both. And he thinks I am too young to need a knee replacement yet.

Before leaving the doctor said does it hurt when I push here on the back of my knee? As I levitated off the table in pain, he decided it was time for an MRI and to come back and see him after.

The last thing I need in the middle of moving is knee surgery.

We have nothing to fear but fear itself

I have learned a bit more about Jackie Collins and keeping her breast cancer quiet. It turns out she could feel a lump two years before she went to a doctor. She told People magazine shortly before she died that she was scared to tell her doctor because of her family medical history.

I think this is the old face of cancer. Cancer is not what will necessarily kill us these days. Cancer is becoming a chronic instead of a terminal disease. And many cases when diagnosed early cancer is not terminal.

The worst thing we can do is not tell our doctors about our health issues. If we hide from them, ignore them, or pretend they aren't there (guilty of all of these) for too long, the results will not be the most optimal.

And if we do try to pretend they aren't there, of course they will get worse and not better, unless its all in your head anyway. (Yes I am guilty of that as well.)

What would you do?

This morning I was reading Kaylin's blog over at Cancer is Hilarious. She has had all sorts of cancers before the age 30 (4 diagnoses I believe) and now is faced with a recurrence that looks like will do her in sooner as opposed to later. She has a dilemma. She wrote:

"Now that my very aggressive and deadly bone cancer has come back for a third time, I don't have many options. It is almost a certainty that it will kill me. There is one regimen of chemo left that might prolong my life, but of course chemo is absolute hell, and I am on my own here in NY with no family or husband to take care of me. I'm not entirely sure I can handle it on my own, for the third time. So now I am trying to decide what the rest of my short life will look like: do I stay in NY? take a break to feel healthy and enjoy myself before chemo? Or start right away to maximize my chances of remission? Should I move back to CA where I have family to take care of me? Should I be planning my death? How should I spend the rest of the life I have left?"

My comment back to her is to skip the proverbial bucket list and go find her happy place to live out her life - on the beach, in the mountains, visiting friends, what ever works for her. But my question for all of you is if you were given this kind of diagnosis, what would you do? Not a bucket list, but how would you make yourself happiest if you were given a short time to experience it?

Personally I find  the idea of a bucket list a bit of an avoidance mode - you focus on doing the little things that you want to do but are skipping the big picture that you are dying. I keep changing my mind. Would I want to live on the beach or in a cabin in the mountains? Would I watch sunrises or sunsets? Would I continue to seek medical care or go the palliative route to be more comfortable? (Probably palliative.) My funeral by the way will be a kick ass event where everyone has fun and not a lot of tears. And the guest list will be huge.