Pearls Before Swine by Stephen Pastis, 7/21/2015
Mar 13, 2017
If you know me...
...you'll know why I couldn't resist sharing this comic strip.
Pearls Before Swine by Stephen Pastis, 7/21/2015
Pearls Before Swine by Stephen Pastis, 7/21/2015
Mar 7, 2017
Stress + anxiety = anxiety + stress
The past week has been filled with stress and anxiety, no matter how you look at it.
Gilda's Club Seattle asked, and I offered to give an interview when Mutual of Omaha's AHA Moment van was in Seattle on Tuesday. If you've not seen these commercials, check out the site. (I don't know when or if my interview will be broadcast, but will try to post if they tell me.)
At first I thought I'd talk about cancer. Then I thought I'd talk about my cousin E, who died last week at the age of 90+. I asked Rik to quickly email me a photo, since the email reminder said to bring something along. But they meant something to hold in my hand, not a digital image. Then I changed my mind again. Everyone has a loss to share. What would make E's death my AHA Moment more powerful than my living with metastatic cancer?
In the end I talked about my cancer, how long it had been in my life. Mostly I spoke about how my recent knowledge of the US government's lack of funding of all research into all metastatic cancers via the National Cancer Institute indicates how little the lives of our citizens seem to matter to our government. The interviewer didn't seem to care for this topic much, but I got very passionate about it. It was a bit of a stress-filled morning.
On Tuesday afternoon I saw my specialty dentist about the ache in my jaw and numbness in my chin. She took x-rays but nothing showed up, as nothing had shown up on the recent CT of the right side of my jaw. My anxiety continued to build, as this could mean anything from TMJ to increased activity in the BRONJ spot in my jaw, to more active brain mets. Or anything else. And it hurt to open my mouth and eat.
Thursday brought my weekly support group plus a visit with Dr G. The usual mixed bag of possibilities opened up yet again. Stress. Rik told Dr G he thinks I've been mixing up my conversation recently. I told Dr G about my issues with typos and not being able to think of the proper word in a sentence (I call this "my feeling stupid"). These symptoms, plus the mouth/jaw and chin pain, could indeed mean anything. Combined with the rise in my tumor markers, Dr G decided I should start Taxol within 24-48 hours, and schedule another brain MRI soon. I had a brain MRI on June 10th, which revealed nothing unusual. Dr G also said I should start raloxifine, an estrogen blocker which somehow I'd never had.
The terrible traffic for the stupid Seafair activities in town caused many of the patients scheduled before me to arrive late. Therefore we waited two and a half hours to see Dr G, spent an hour with him, walked over to the hospital to fill the scrip for raloxifine, and didn't get home until almost 7 pm.
More stress, more anxiety.
On Friday the Swedish Cancer Institute squeezed me in for my first dose of Taxol. I felt okay on Friday afternoon, but took a nap anyway. New drug, a nap is in order. I should get the Taxol once a week for three weeks, then take a week off. This lower dose also should be more tolerable.
On Saturday it was so very hot here that I took a five hour nap with the air conditioner. This was definitely the summer for such a purchase. I have a brain MRI scheduled for this week, as approved by my health insurance company. We'll see what that reveals. At least my jaw hurts less
Finally, today my dear friends D and C came over for brunch. While we were catching up with one another, I truly had an AHA moment: I realized that the stress and anxiety of the past week could easily have caused some of the symptoms I was so worried about. The typos, the conversational idiosyncrasies and worries about new pain might have all converged to cause me more worry and nervousness.
I actually have tolerated the Taxol very well so far, with minimal side effects except my naps. I hope this means that my trip to see my family on the east coast will come off as planned. Plus I hope this means less stress now that I have a plan. This who know me, know that I excel at planning.
Gilda's Club Seattle asked, and I offered to give an interview when Mutual of Omaha's AHA Moment van was in Seattle on Tuesday. If you've not seen these commercials, check out the site. (I don't know when or if my interview will be broadcast, but will try to post if they tell me.)
At first I thought I'd talk about cancer. Then I thought I'd talk about my cousin E, who died last week at the age of 90+. I asked Rik to quickly email me a photo, since the email reminder said to bring something along. But they meant something to hold in my hand, not a digital image. Then I changed my mind again. Everyone has a loss to share. What would make E's death my AHA Moment more powerful than my living with metastatic cancer?
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| With Anna Gottlieb, founder and executive director of Gilda's Club Seattle |
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| A gift from Mutual of Omaha - my very own clapboard |
On Tuesday afternoon I saw my specialty dentist about the ache in my jaw and numbness in my chin. She took x-rays but nothing showed up, as nothing had shown up on the recent CT of the right side of my jaw. My anxiety continued to build, as this could mean anything from TMJ to increased activity in the BRONJ spot in my jaw, to more active brain mets. Or anything else. And it hurt to open my mouth and eat.
Thursday brought my weekly support group plus a visit with Dr G. The usual mixed bag of possibilities opened up yet again. Stress. Rik told Dr G he thinks I've been mixing up my conversation recently. I told Dr G about my issues with typos and not being able to think of the proper word in a sentence (I call this "my feeling stupid"). These symptoms, plus the mouth/jaw and chin pain, could indeed mean anything. Combined with the rise in my tumor markers, Dr G decided I should start Taxol within 24-48 hours, and schedule another brain MRI soon. I had a brain MRI on June 10th, which revealed nothing unusual. Dr G also said I should start raloxifine, an estrogen blocker which somehow I'd never had.
The terrible traffic for the stupid Seafair activities in town caused many of the patients scheduled before me to arrive late. Therefore we waited two and a half hours to see Dr G, spent an hour with him, walked over to the hospital to fill the scrip for raloxifine, and didn't get home until almost 7 pm.
More stress, more anxiety.
On Friday the Swedish Cancer Institute squeezed me in for my first dose of Taxol. I felt okay on Friday afternoon, but took a nap anyway. New drug, a nap is in order. I should get the Taxol once a week for three weeks, then take a week off. This lower dose also should be more tolerable.
On Saturday it was so very hot here that I took a five hour nap with the air conditioner. This was definitely the summer for such a purchase. I have a brain MRI scheduled for this week, as approved by my health insurance company. We'll see what that reveals. At least my jaw hurts less
Finally, today my dear friends D and C came over for brunch. While we were catching up with one another, I truly had an AHA moment: I realized that the stress and anxiety of the past week could easily have caused some of the symptoms I was so worried about. The typos, the conversational idiosyncrasies and worries about new pain might have all converged to cause me more worry and nervousness.
I actually have tolerated the Taxol very well so far, with minimal side effects except my naps. I hope this means that my trip to see my family on the east coast will come off as planned. Plus I hope this means less stress now that I have a plan. This who know me, know that I excel at planning.
Mar 6, 2017
Latest brain MRI results
I had a brain MRI last week or so and Dr G called me today to review the results. Things are worse. I have new mets, some larger mets, some smaller mets. He told me things are not so hot in my cerebrum and cerebellum, although he did mention that all my years of dancing are helping my cerebellum stay healthier, if that's the proper word.
This is hard news to swallow. The good side is that the Taxol might reduce these mets, and put off having to have whole brain radiation. This is a procedure Dr G has always told me might make me "stupid." He only mentioned it as a possibility but of course I think I'm smarter than the average bear and losing some of that freaks me out.
Rik spoke to Dr G on Tuesdsy during my chemo and confirmed that in his opinion I'm improving, am more focused, since starting Taxol. That makes me feel better. Who knows me best but my husband?
Nonetheless I'm spending the day in bed and on the sofa, sleeping, reading, cuddling dogs and listening to a huge thundershower. Maybe tomorrow I'll feel up to more activity as I wrap my head around more brain mets.
Feb 27, 2017
Trip east
Rik and I went on separate journeys east recently. He made a presentation and received an award at a national geography teachers' conference in the other Washington (and he already took the award to school, so I can't share a photo with you). I went to see my mother, sister and brother-in-law and spent time at the New Jersey shore with them.
Here are highlights from my trip:
Here are highlights from my trip:
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| The board game Monopoly was based on the Atlantic City boardwalk. |
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| By the sea, by the sea, by the beautiful sea... |
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| When you're part of our family, you get TAN! |
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| Oh those Jersey tomatoes! |
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| Sis, me, Mom in a terrible selfie |
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| View from the banana whip place |
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| Walking on the beach with my sister |
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| I'm on Ventnor beach! |
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| Canadian cherries for Rik
And to be sure I enjoyed every moment, I ate frozen custard daily! This Jersey delight is like soft-serve ice cream but SO MUCH MORE DELICIOUS.
Day 1: Daddy O's chocolate/vanilla swirl
Day 2: Rita's coffee and chocolate (shared between Mom and I)
Day 3: That place on the pier for frozen banana whip
Day 4: Sunny Daze chocolate/vanilla swirl with chocolate dipped coating
Day 5: Royale Crown (Hammonton) fresh peach custard with chocolate dipped coating -- THE WINNER!
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Feb 20, 2017
Busy busy busy
I haven't blogged in more than a week because life has been so BUSY!
Soon I'll tell all about the photo shoot and short documentary that took over our lives for a couple of days on my 13th metsiversary.
Then I'll brag about my fantastic 13th metsiversary party!
But for now, let's just say that besides the above, I've had the usual round of medical appointments, my week off chemo, a visit from Rik's high school photography teacher and good friend, a November-like storm that took out power in many places, including us. Two nine-hour power outages here with an hour or two in between where we could make reset clocks, etc. Thank goodness we bought a gas range and were able to have a hot dinner, even in the dark!
We played Scrabble by candlelight and didn't realize the power had been on for almost 30 minutes, until Rik let the dogs out and said, "Hey, there's a light on over there!"
Last night we ushered at the 5th Avenue Theatre for a touring performance of Matilda, the London musical based on Roald Dahl's book. I thought it was fabulous, especially the talented, mostly very young cast.
More soon, including a cancer update. Tomorrow I start Taxol with Carboplatin. That's a big combo, but given that I sailed through Adriamycin, I hope to do the same with Carbo. Said with a strong Balkan accent: I am strong like bull!
Soon I'll tell all about the photo shoot and short documentary that took over our lives for a couple of days on my 13th metsiversary.
Then I'll brag about my fantastic 13th metsiversary party!
But for now, let's just say that besides the above, I've had the usual round of medical appointments, my week off chemo, a visit from Rik's high school photography teacher and good friend, a November-like storm that took out power in many places, including us. Two nine-hour power outages here with an hour or two in between where we could make reset clocks, etc. Thank goodness we bought a gas range and were able to have a hot dinner, even in the dark!
We played Scrabble by candlelight and didn't realize the power had been on for almost 30 minutes, until Rik let the dogs out and said, "Hey, there's a light on over there!"
Last night we ushered at the 5th Avenue Theatre for a touring performance of Matilda, the London musical based on Roald Dahl's book. I thought it was fabulous, especially the talented, mostly very young cast.
More soon, including a cancer update. Tomorrow I start Taxol with Carboplatin. That's a big combo, but given that I sailed through Adriamycin, I hope to do the same with Carbo. Said with a strong Balkan accent: I am strong like bull!