Good intentions gone bad.

The heights of stupidity are being reached for pinktober.

Let me count the ways. First of all, an NFL player who lost his mother and four aunts to breast cancer is being fined for having the words 'Find A Cure' and a pink ribbon on his eye black (those are the stupid little black rectangles of paint under their eyes, in case you didn't know - like me). He has had these for the past five seasons and now it is a problem for the NFL, which covers itself in pink each year. So they fined him $5775. Really? Everything else can be pink but he can't express himself?

Talk about a double standard - the league can be pink but he can't show his support. I wouldn't have a problem if the NFL didn't go pink every year.

What about 'Knitted Knockers'? Yep, a bunch of knitters in South Carolina create them for breast cancer patients to wear after surgery. These foobs are made out of soft yarn and stuffed with cotton to wear after mastectomies against the skin.

So what if they are the wrong size? Its a nice idea on some level but on most levels its just wrong. Especially the name.

Finally, pink beer. Yep, a brilliant bar has decided to serve pink Michelob Ultra to raise awareness for breast cancer. It is not clear if any extra money is being raised through this. So do the drinkers of pink beer think their purchases help raise funds for anything related to breast cancer? I think we have trained people to think if something is specially labeled or colored its purchase is helping the cause, not just awareness.

Good intentions gone bad.

Am I making a bad decision?

Today is my last day of work. Well, I will continue to work one day a week from home and go to the office once a month until my replacement is found. And I will go into the office to help train him/her for a few days.

The reason I am leaving work is my health is not that great, in case you hadn't noticed. Even though I have cut way back on my schedule, I still am fighting fatigue and aches and pains. One goal in moving is to cut way back on expenses so my non-existent income will not be noticed.

Three years ago,  in the fall of 2012, I was diagnosed with both rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia. (Actually it was exactly three years ago tomorrow that I announced this.) At that point I was working two jobs and a total of about 30-35 hours each week.

In early 2013, I resigned from my other job because I could not physically keep up the pace of working so much. It also required nights and weekends. In 2014 I started working fewer and fewer hours in my current job. Now I am down to about 8 hours each week, and I can barely keep up.

With the decision to move and reduce our expenses, it became much easier for me to decide to stop working. I am looking forward to having more time to take care of me.

During the next few months, I will have plenty to do with moving and the holidays and craft shows. Once we settle into a new house, I have no plans on staying home all the time. I would like to find some volunteer work to ensure I get out of the house and don't go stir crazy - but that would be fewer hours with more flexibility. I also plan to continue to go to the gym three times a week. My sanity is important.

But I must return to my original question of am I making a decision? I guess it would be a bad one if I was only thinking financially. But I do not have that luxury any longer.

There is a moral here somewhere

What is that moral I can't quite recall? The tortoise and the hare? But not the early bird gets the worm.

Once a new drug is developed, there is a rush to get it to the market to help as many as possible. Patients who are very ill who might benefit from the new drug are quick to request access to it. But time is telling us that:

1. Rushing drugs through approvals isn't necessarily the best idea. The side effects and additional issues caused to patients actually cause more cost to the health care system and do not necessarily help the patients.
2. The drug developers are supposed to continue their research but do not always comply.
3. The FDA is not equipped to monitor the drug developers and review their additional study results.

So rushing the drugs through approval is not a good thing. Slow and steady wins the race here. But not too slow. Yes research studies take time but there has to be a happy medium to get drugs to market sooner with out risks to patients and additional costs. The tortoise did keep moving steadily to get there in theend.

The Costs of Cancer

So you get diagnosed with cancer and all of a sudden you put your entire life on hold and you grapple with side effects, hair loss, constant aches and pains, surgical recovery, and giant medical bills. You rob Peter to pay Paul so to speak every month as you juggle your bills. You take time off work to cope with treatment and your income tanks and money is even tighter. You try to save for retirement as you wonder if you will be there for retirement.

But picture this if you were in college or just out and didn't really have a job. You are dependent on your parents for money. You alternate between your dorm room, your parent's sofa, and the infusion room. You try to figure out how you are ever going to have a career, if you are going to have a career. You hope you do not have to declare bankruptcy before 30 just to stay solvent because you have student loans and medical bills. At the same time you wonder if you will be around to turn 30.

I have been in both situations. At 19, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer, but was still on my parent's health insurance and it took a summer to deal with the bulk of treatment, but have had follow up's every year or more often since. Medical bills and student loans were not as sky high back then but I did go through a lot of angst as a result of my diagnosis.

Then at 45 I was diagnosed with breast cancer and wondered how to pay bills as I job hunted through treatment. I haven't worked full time since. Money is much tighter now. Saving for retirement has been less important. With two cancer diagnoses, retirement looks a bit iffy at times.

At some point I learned about a wonderful organization called The Samfund. This group helps those young adult cancer patients figure out their financials and provides some grants. How do they know how to do this? The founder has been through this herself. I just wish they were around for me decades ago.

Being told you are cancer free only makes you find out about all the costs you still have to pay - financial, emotional, and physical.

We are supposed to be eating better

We means those of us who are post cancer. A new study claims that all of us who get through cancer develop crappy eating habits.

"Cancer survivors are a bit less health conscious in their eating habits, a large U.S. population-based study found.

Compared with the general population, cancer survivors consumed more empty calories in the form of solid fats, alcohol, and added sugars, reported a research team.... 

In addition, cancer survivors' intake of fiber, vitamin D, and other important nutrients was lower on average than recommended levels, Zhang and colleagues reported in the journal."

Um, first of all I must state that I think I am a relatively good eater. I don't eat a lot of prepared food, I like home made food not premade crap out of the freezer or a can. I like fresh fruit and vegetables.

But, why am I eating healthy to prevent future health issues when I already have them so many? On many levels it doesn't make sense. I do try but then sometimes I wonder why I do. I mean why do I worry about things like cholesterol when one of my other ailments is going to lead to many other issues where cholesterol may end up being so far down the list in impact on my health.

Once you get through cancer many other things become less important. The medications you are given cause so many side effects that  healthy eating during chemo is changed to only eating what will stay in your stomach.

A cancer diagnosis changes everything so let's have our cake now and eat it too.