Cancer language

I recently read about more offensive language of cancer. Where do people get these ideas?

I know then President Nixon declared a war on cancer in the early 1970s. Fine, have your war on cancer but sending in armies of scientists and doctors to research it to death and kill it off. But the people with cancer? We are not at war, we just want to stay alive.

I really dislike the S-word. Why? Because its a label. I am a person; I am not a label. You can describe me by saying words like short, slightly flabby, or something else, or even smart or other nice words. You can even say slightly cranky or pushy or assertive. You can also say I am a patient and a frequent flier at my local hospital. But I am not a survivor. All I have survived is a billion or so doctor's appointments and medical misadventures. Okay, you can say I have survived driving in metropolitan Boston for the last few decades. Sometimes that's a daily demolition derby.

I didn't survive cancer. With cancer, you can achieve remission, partial remission, or have NED (No Evidence of Disease) status (which is me currently). But you are never told you are cured. If you are told you are cured your doctor must be stupid a miracle worker because there is no cure for cancer. Well okay, there are a few cancers that can be cured but definitely not all. You will spend the rest of your life being 'best buds' with your oncologist, endocrinologist, or so other specialist.

Now the CDC in its infinite wisdom as a part of our government has launched a new program called Bring Your Brave, which is a breast cancer awareness program for young women. Really? I find it almost as offensive as the boobies programs that are out there. Bring my brave what? My brave face - the one I wear when my doctor is about to give me bad news or I am heading off for another surgery? My brave suit of armor when I have to deal with a bunch of nitwits somewhere?

And why does it only focus on breast cancer? It would be much better to have a cancer awareness program for all types of cancer for younger adults. Most do not expect to be diagnosed with cancer and have their world upside down.

For any other ailment, you are a patient or a person. This patient has a complication with their cardiac surgery. Or 'this person has an ulcer', or 'congestive heart failure', or 'strep throat'. Why can't we say this patient has stage III pancreatic cancer? Why does it have to be 'this person is fighting metastatic brain cancer' or  this patient is a breast cancer survivor'?

These war words are the obscenities of the cancer world. Fix your vocabulary people! Thank you. 

More on change

As part of moving, we are looking at a variety of locations. The biggest requirement is that my husband's commute stays reasonable. Well the first requirement is that we buy a more affordable house. But my husband's commute is the other significant factor.

Originally, I said we need to stay near the hospital where I am treated, relatively easy commute for me to work, stay near the gym I go to (because it is wonderful) and stay near my family members who live locally. Then we realized that as we downsize, my working will become a lesser requirement. And if I don't work, I can take a day each week to spend with family members so that is two things down.

The next issue of being near the wonderful gym I go to for dilapidated people is significant. But I hope if we move too far for it to be easy to get to three times a week, I might be able to find another gym with the right kind of equipment and supplement that with a physical therapist.

Finally, the remaining big issue is finding another hospital. I really don't want to but if necessary I would. I have been a mostly happy patient there for almost 35 years. All my medical records are there. But if it became more than a 45 minute drive, that might become an issue since I go there an average of once a week. I think that would become a last resort but could be under consideration. The bonus is that  it is about 10 minutes from my husband's job so that if he has a good commute chances are it would still be accessible for me.

I have considered if we move further out I might make a point of getting registered at a more local hospital so that the bulk of my medical history and allergies are there in case of an emergency visit. But I am not impressed with what would be the new local hospital's emergency room so that might be off the table.

Grr. I just want the damn move to be over so I can get through the all this packing and un packing.

Prescriptions and regulations and confusion

You might have guessed I take a few prescriptions these days. Actually I have a whole pile. Every weekend I sit down and fill our pill boxes for the week. My husband has one prescription and vitamins. I have a lot more.

I get my prescriptions from three places - the local pharmacy, the insurance company's mail order pharmacy, and the insurance company's specialty pharmacy. I got promoted to the specialty pharmacy this year for some reason. Its not that they really charge more, they just like to make my life more complicated.

What really annoys me about prescription medications are the stupid rules. The latest new rule is that I couldn't just call my pain management doctor for a refill on my break through pain meds (because the new cats hid the other bottle when they 'explored' the shelf in my closet), they had to make sure I had an upcoming appointment with the doctor. They even called me twice to make sure. (Then I explained how the cats hid my prescription which caused me to think that I had run out when I hadn't.)

The other rule that annoys me is that because of the 'opioid' crisis (which I recognize is a real and growing) problem, pharmacies want patients to have used up almost all their prescription before providing a refill. I know that pain medication use can lead to opioid abuse but not everyone.

I am picky about my prescription use. I use one of those lovely box a day pill box for years and have to take pills at three different times during the day (on an empty stomach, after eating, and before bed). If I was really good I would take some pills in the middle of the day as well but since I NEVER remember, that is not going to happen any time soon.

I also think about how often I take certain prescriptions which are prescribed 'as needed'. If I think I am taking them too often, I will take a minute to think how often I am taking them and why and if I need a doctor visit for a potential issue.

I feel I can manage my prescriptions myself and don't think I need any more rules to help me manage them. And about those prices? Well that's another story.

A little too personal for me

Now big pharma has another 'bright idea'. They want to use fitbits in clinical trials to get more details on the impact of the medication and if it is working. However that wouldn't work for me. So it would be another way I would be excluded from potential clinical trials.

I am never eligible for clinical trials now anyway. I have too many ailments to be considered. It would be very difficult to tell the impact of a new medication because I have so many others.

Also, I can't wear fit bits. I cant put anything on my left arm because of lymphedema. This means no watches, no bracelets, and only my wedding ring, when my arm is feeling okay. And a fitbit? Absolutely not. I have problems wearing anything on my right arm because of my tennis elbow/bad wrist/everything else that is going on. No watches, bracelets either (I carry my phone to use instead of a watch).

This article talks about a 'fitbit' that would work as an adhesive patch. I am allergic to so many things these days. Last week's pain patch left a raised area on my chest from the adhesive even though I have been using anti itch lotion to help heal it. I am probably not the only person with multiple  medical issues who would have issues when wearing one of these.

Finally, I think a fitbit is a bit intrusive. Its my body and I am not sure how comfortable I feel with someone monitoring my body from afar. I would want to be the one monitoring the results and then forwarding them to the pharma company.

So a 'bright' idea by someone who is healthy.It might be easier for them, but not necessarily easier for the patients.

When your body lets you down

It happens to all of us - you reach for something and your back twinges, you get a bad cold, or whatever, they are part of life. But then sometimes your body really lets you down.

This became very clear to me one day when I was skiing about ten years ago. I was having a wonderful time and then I fell on one run. I thought I was fine but some man stopped and said he friend had gone for the ski patrol. I thought he was crazy but since he insisted on waiting with me, he could help me untangle my skis. Then when I put weight on my knee it bent side ways and I knew he was right. I ended up with a torn meniscus and a partially torn ACL which meant knee surgery and the beginnings of knee problems.

My body has since let me down in other ways. I seem to have collected ailments that won't go away. Tennis elbow, lymphedema, bad back, rheumatoid, fibromyalgia, and that cancer crap. They just keep piling up. Yesterday afternoon I got very frustrated with myself. I try to be a normal person and then my body protests.

Sometimes I feel I should be in a geriatric ward some place with all my aches and pains. But then I try to tell myself that I got through cancer twice so I can cope through all this. But its the continued emotional spiral of coping with aches, pains and scars that is difficult.

I haven't been getting enough rest recently. Nor enough sleep. This makes it harder for me to physically and emotionally deal with life. And since we are at the worst part of the chaos of putting our house on the market (which means I will take our toaster oven with us today so it will not be in the way while they take pictures of the house). I will bring it back tonight so we can have toast in the morning and then take it with us again as they show the house. This is on top of the list of everything else I have to do today to make the house picture perfect.

My biggest problem is with everything I cannot do. I can't carry stuff around (one of my doctors told me that I cannot pick up everything after I told him we were moving). I have to wait for my husband to be home to carry stuff around for me. I get stuck and have to wait for help so often. My body is failing me too soon. And it drags me down and I constantly have to fight back.

Okay, enough whininess this morning. I will go back to being positive.

Prescription freakiness

I got this email on Friday:

"The following prescription(s) received in Order #"XXXXXXXXXXX on 11/19/2015 cannot be filled.

We can't fill one or more of your prescriptions because the drug was not available, and we have no approved alternative from your prescriber."

So helpful. I had no idea what this was for. Which medication, which doctor, which ailment.

So first I called the specialty mail order pharmacy (because some of my medications are 'special') and I can't look up those prescriptions on line. After dealing with the 'helpful' automated attended for far too long and two phone calls, I ended up with someone who told me it wasn't in that part of the specialty program. She tried to transfer me to the regular mail order department but I ended up in telephone limbo.

So I hung up and made call #3. The woman I spoke with put me on  hold to research it and then when she picked the call back up, somehow I got disconnected.

So I hung up and made call #4. The man I spoke with told me that they couldn't fill it because the prescription came in without a medication on it. Very weird.

Even weirder was that it came in from a nurse practitioner in the dermatology department on Thursday where I had an appointment with another NP.

The more I think about this, the freakier it is. How did a prescription get to a pharmacy for me when it wasn't for me? I can only think that this someone didn't realize that they were logged into my account on their computer when they went to enter a prescription for someone else.

This is not a good thing. I will call them tomorrow to discuss this. There is no excuse for this. I know people are busy but when it is dealing with patients and medications, they need to double check what they are doing and make sure they are looking at the correct patient.

Just think if you were in the OR and they were looking at someone else's chart?

Its been a long ten years

I used to be a healthy person, really. Those of you who have known me for more than ten years know that. But for the rest of you I need to reassure you I was healthy at one point.

One of the big reasons we are selling our house is that we bought it when I was working full time in Boston. I needed the easy access to the city. I will never work full time again, nor will I ever work in Boston.

We bought this house in February 2005 and moved in. We got married in May and then my health went (I really do not believe that my marriage played any part in my body's decision to go to hell in a hand basket).

That August, I was home alone waiting for my husband to come home from work so we could leave for a long weekend when I started experiencing intense abdominal pain. So painful, it took me ten minutes to reach across the bed to get the phone. My husband had a new office phone which was saved in my cell phone which was far away - across the room - so I just called 911 for an ambulance.

It turned out I had fibroids and one had died off and caused a massive internal infection which put me in the hospital on IV antibiotics and ended up with a hysterectomy and home on medical leave for six weeks.

A year and a half later, I was diagnosed with breast cancer which lead to three surgeries, chemo and radiation. Then my gall bladder was removed. Then my back started hurting. And lymphedema, rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia.

Now I am looking toward to retirement and a healthier body. If that is possible. Could I ever be healthy again?

Being a complainer

There is a difference between complaining and being a complainer. I complain sometimes, we all complain. And we should. We should speak our minds and make our wishes known. But if we complain too often we can become complainers where we are either Chicken Little or the Boy who cried Wolf so that when we have real complaints, they get lost or overlooked.

Here is a tale of a complainer who complained so often that her complaints became overlooked and she ended up diagnosed with stage IV thyroid cancer and died from it which lead to a malpractice suit.

I think there are a couple issues in this story. The patient complained so much and spent so much time talking about other issues that it became difficult to discern real medical issues from other issues. Of course her doctor could have done more to figure out the cause of her symptoms but he and a specialist could not find anything that significant and attributed the diagnosis of acid reflux  as the cause, which is very common.

When I am the patient, I come in prepared for my appointment with a list of questions to make sure they were all addressed. I would have also kept the list from one appointment to another to make sure something is being done to find out what is wrong with me. And if it dragged on to too many times I was back in for the same thing with no change or resolution, I would get pushier and want more options.

With my medical background, I know you are never too young, too old, or too anything for a diagnosis.

I also know all medical personnel are busy and need to be told a story about a complaint. Don't say 'I have a pain', say 'I have a pain when I do this or eat this', etc. We need to make it easy for my doctors to get to the bottom of the problem. We don't need to share pictures with them or tell them about the rest of our lives. We need to give the  medical professionals as much information relating to our health problems to help them help us.

We should not be complainers but we should tell about our complaints so we do not end up like the patient in the story.

There's basil in my coffee and other worries

If there is one thing I have learned over the past eight years of health crap is to roll with the punches. I need to deal with what I can and learn to cope with the rest. I try to keep my life on an even keel as much as possible. I usually do unless 'something' happens.

I don't have the energy to go overboard at any little thing. I need to save my strength to cope with it all and not lose my sanity, or anything else important. Because I have no way of telling what could be next.

It has been more than eight years of medical crap. Ten years ago I had a hysterectomy and then 18 months later breast cancer and so much more since. But I think I am doing okay these days, although some may disagree.

My latest health aggravation is my knee. Not being a candidate for knee surgery has put a damper on my hopes for life without a knee brace. And my knee isn't bad enough so I could have a knee replacement - but I have always believed there is no reason to have one of those unless absolutely necessary. And Its not necessary. But I will whine bitch about it to my therapist and rheumatologist and see if any solutions come along. Or medical research comes up with a new way to fix it.

And life goes on. I will cope and move on.

This morning while making coffee way too early, I thought I grabbed the bag of mulling spices so I could throw a few in to the coffee grinder to add some flavor to the coffee. Nope, it was basil. I tried to pull most of it out but there is a hint of basil in it. But its not bad. I can deal with it.

3000th blog post

My blog post is not about numbers or volume or anything like that but recently I realized I was nearing 3000 blog posts. Today is number 3000. My blog started June 2, 2007, 3089 days or 8 years, 5 months, 14 days ago.

I set out blogging as a way to vent my feelings and keep my friends and family updated through breast cancer diagnosis and treatment, which would be a year or so and then I would return to my 'new normal'.

It didn't work out that way. Not many of my local friends or family read my blog. I am still working on that 'new normal' (and if anyone ever finds it, please let me know where it is), and my health still sucks, even though there have been no new cancer misadventures.

I still benefit from my nearly daily blogging. It allows me a way vent my feelings on my sub-par health which is really what I need. I also like to think my so called 'words of wisdom' have helped others deal with breast cancer and other not so fun medical crap.

Along the way I have also met many wonderful people online who are dealing with their own medical crap and they have become friends, although we have not nor do I think we ever will meet in person. But we are friends. And as a result I have a bunch of greatly appreciated supporters when I go through my own bumps in the health roller coaster.

I think I will keep blogging, I see no reason to stop as long as it continues to help me.

I'm not sure this is an upgrade

I broke my old pill box. The Sunday latch no longer works.

I had to buy a new pill box. I had to get one that has AM and PM too.

Very depressing. I feel old. I was at the gym the other day and another woman said to me that she takes too many. She takes 3 in the morning and 7 at night. I take way more than that. She is in her early 80's and is recovering from heart surgery.

Spoon Theory (Or How Many Spoons Is That Worth To Me?)

Do you know about the spoon theory? No, its not something you learned in high school physics and since forgot. Its about life with a chronic illness. Christine Miserandino over at "But You Don't Look Sick".

This has come up in a couple other blogs recently and someone emailed me about it earlier this week. You can read the entire theory here but to summarize (poorly):

If you are healthy, you have an unlimited supply for spoons to get you through the day. As you start your day each task costs one spoon. This includes taking a shower, getting dressed, making breakfast, standing in line at the coffee shop, taking the stairs instead of the elevator up to your office, working straight out all morning, going to lunch, etc.  Each task is a spoon.

But if you have a chronic illness you start your day with a set supply of spoons. Probably about 12. If you do too much you will run out of spoons very early in the day. If you use up too many spoons, you might have fewer spoons the next day. Or if you run out of spoons, you need to spend the rest of the day resting/recovering.

This is my life now. Every day I need to evaluate what I am going to do for the day and figure out how to  use my spoons. I look at as 'how many spoons is that worth to me'. I have the list of what I want to do and what I need to do and evaluate my spoon count.

I had a very stressful, terrible day yesterday (thanks to bankers) and I didn't sleep well so my spoon count is bit low. I want to go to the gym, make four pies, and clean up for my brother's arrival with his four kids late this evening. I will be napping by 3pm.

I will rest for a bit longer this morning and attempt to go to the gym. Once I come home, I can make a pie and take a nap while it bakes. And repeat as needed.

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving which means lots of stuff to do, stretching out of spoons, and splitting what I want vs what I must do. I need to get as much rest as I can today. Each choice will require me to evaluate how many spoons each is worth to me.

The accountants rule

I have nothing wrong with accountants. They pay attention to the little details in numbers that I some how don't understand. I have an accountant I use to do my taxes and take care of my financial stuff. My husband has an MBA and he can explain all the financial stuff on a level that I need to understand.

I used to work for a company where each year when I had to present my budgets to accountants, they drew straws on who would have to deal with me. Because I wasn't enough of a numbers person for them. I know they are important. But they also can be too focused on numbers and not on people.

Now we have a problem. Big pharma companies are beginning to focus on their profits and not on creating better medications for patients. Why? Because now that the accountants are beginning to rule.

In the last few decades it has not been unusual for pharma companies, and others, to merge, move, and streamline themselves for financial reasons. Have a competitor? Buy him out, problem solved. Some one designed a good product? Buy them out and take advantage of their technology.

But now big pharma companies are taking it a step farther. They are letting their accountants take over and make BIG financial decisions to take better care of their bottom line. First they are moving to countries with lower tax rates. Then they will lose a lot of staff and potentially stifle innovation as they hire new scientists who start over in development, but they will save a lot of money over all. And example of this is Pfizer which is buying Allergan.

"Pfizer is the largest drug maker in the United States, but after striking a deal on Monday to buy Allergan, the company is on the verge of becoming Irish.

For shareholders, this may be their lucky charm. After the merger, Pfizer will be able to shift its legal headquarters from New York to Dublin and pay lower taxes, which should bolster its bottom line. 

But in the process, scientists are likely to lose their jobs, innovation may suffer, and consumers could pay more for Pfizer medicines."

To me this deal sounds like only the accountants and share holders will be happy. So I must ask: What about the patients?

Maybe its time for the politicians to step forward and say the US will negotiate with pharmaceutical companies for their medications, only if they are based in the US, paying US taxes, and hiring American citizens to work there? Just an idea.

Aggravations

My little world is feeling very aggravated this morning. First of all my damn laptop is having way too many technical issues. I have been working on it for days. It keeps running too slow. It is running a little faster but still has hiccups. I need to pull some more tricks out of my sleeve to fix it.

Also, my damn prescriptions are aggravating me. A few weeks ago, I had prescription issues when it took weeks to get one filled. Last Tuesday I called in another prescription and today I had to call again... I have 1, yes ONE, pill left. Which means I have until tomorrow at about 6 pm before I completely run out. Just damn aggravating.

Then I read in this morning's paper (yes I read the paper newspaper every day - the comics are better in the paper than online, and if you don't read the comics, life would be too boring) about how many unvaccinated children there are these days.

Who knew that most children do not get their vaccinations before their second birthday? Vaccinations are one of the greatest advances in modern medicine and people don't get their kids vaccinated. I don't get this. People who stop eating fast food to be healthier but then don't get their kids vaccinated? They would have their children's best interest at heart if they got the shots.

I just don't understand this. Its the same for people who go macrobiotic and skip going to the doctor. Maybe I'm just good and aggravated already before I read the paper

Can I be a person not a patient?

I often feel I spend a good portion of my life going from medical appointment to medical appointment. My calendar is full of doctor appointments, reminders to call different doctors, or notes on prescriptions.

My schedule is set for the rest of my life by medical appointments. Yesterday I wanted to go to the gym in the morning but had to wait until after the eye doctor for my dry eyes, which force me there twice a year. Those dry eyes, along with dry mouth, are a 'benefit' of my rheumatoid. Which is followed by a dentist appointment on Friday morning, which will also delay my getting to the gym. Or force me to get up early to go to the gym first.

I used to work with a woman who scheduled all her doctor appointments for the year in one week. I'm so jealous.

Normal people don't go to the doctor as often as I do. Their calendars are filled with friends, fun, and adventures. I get to go to the doctor.

Please, patients not profits

I know I can sound like a broken record sometimes (a very badly scratched record) but this stuff just really irks me. A new report came out recently that said Gilead, manufacturers of that ultra expensive Hepatitis C drug,

"The 18-month Senate committee investigation reviewed more than 20,000 pages of company documents.

Of course it takes a Senate committee...

'The documents show it was always Gilead’s plan to max out revenue, and that accessibility and affordability were pretty much an afterthought,' said Senator Ron Wyden, Democrat from Oregon, who co-led the investigation with Senator Charles Grassley, an Iowa Republican, in a press conference.

Its all about the revenue. Their pricing strategy also caused patients in several areas of the country to be limited in their access to the potentially life saving medication because of the cost alone.

In a statement released Tuesday, Gilead disagreed with the conclusions of the report, saying that the price was ‘‘in line with previous standards of care.’’ The company noted that it has programs in place to help uninsured patients and those who need financial assistance to access the treatments. More than 600,000 patients around the world had been treated with Gilead’s hepatitis C drugs since 2013, according to the company." 

Of course they were not happy about criticism. And yes they have programs to help uninsured patients and ones in financial need. But maybe they wouldn't need such expansive programs if they hadn't priced it so high in the first place.

"The report suggests that the factors Gilead used to set its price were not based on the research and development needed to bring the drug to market, or on the $11.2 billion it paid for Pharmasset, the company that developed Sovaldi. Instead, Gilead executives looked at what previous treatments had cost and the effect of future waves of competition on the revenue it could bring in.

Instead of using their industry's standard line of the R&D to bring it to market, they decided to get as much money as they could and then set themselves up for future high priced medications.

‘‘Company officials surmised that its drug had a ‘value premium’ because of increased efficacy and tolerability, shorter treatment duration, and its potential to ultimately be part of an all-oral regimen,’’ the report states.

In its statement Tuesday the company said, ‘‘We stand behind the pricing of our therapies because of the benefit they bring to patients and the significant value they represent to payers, providers, and our entire health care system by reducing the long-term costs associated with managing chronic [hepatitis C virus].’’"
Admit nothing, deny everything. And screw the patients.

How confident am I on my health?

This is a tough subject for me. I am at a point where I feel okay most of the time but am not sure I feel well enough to make significant changes. I mean should I look for a new job? At my current job, there are some pluses and some minuses. The negatives are things like commute distance (farther than I like), lowish salary - decent but I wouldn't mind more (who wouldn't?). The pluses are total flexibility in my schedule and I am an established employee.

If I left my job I would have to establish myself somewhere else and have no seniority. If my health acted up and I couldn't work for a week or so (not an unknown event), would I jeopardize it? I am hesitant to look for another job because I am not sure I am healthy enough to establish myself at a new one.

On the other hand, I see my new primary care on Monday and I do NOT expect anything new and unexciting in my health. I don't think I have any bad things going on (but not to jinx myself or anything).

Finding the balance

More tests or fewer, more meds or fewer. Does this mean fewer diagnoses and more deaths? I don't think it has to. We just need to find the balance.

We need to focus on finding, not what is the most we can do, to what is the best thing that can be done for the patient. Go read this article to learn more. I strongly agree with this theory.

I can't tell you how many times I have felt over-tested, -poked, and -prodded, because of 'my medical history, they have to be sure'. I can't tell you how annoying that is. Really? Can't they just say that's the best thing for you? Or is that not what they mean?

There is a current leaning in the medical/insurance world to cut down on the amount of tests, scans, and medications for patients. American medical costs are the highest in the world and American patients are blasted by ads and mailings from manufacturers on the newest, most expensive treatments, which are often unnecessary. And patients ask for more scans.

I get it. I have asked doctors why no more scans or tests? And the answer is 'there are no reasons to have any scans, there are no changes'. I can live with that. And I get mailings from Pfizer to go on Xeljanz, which is probably no better than my current drug combinations. And that new drug costs a fortune.

There is a tiny part of my brain that screams 'cure me', give me more tests, find a fancy pill, do something so I can go back to my former healthy self. But the rational part of me knows that isn't a reality. I can dream can't I?

Are any of these people who are so upset about not enough testing and medications patients? If my doctor says this is what's best for you, I'm happy. Its the right balance for me.

As patients we need to accept what our doctors say is enough. And we still need to be vigilant against under treatment, but that's another story.

In the know

If you are perpetually sick/ill, you are in the know on how we feel. Someone came up with a list of 20 items but a few stuck out for me.

• You aren't quite sure what it means to feel "100%" because you're usually hovering at a solid 80% on a good day.
• Sometimes doing even the simplest of tasks feels like a five hour workout. Can I nap yet?
• By some miracle if you are actually not sick, you usually overexert yourself so much that you'll be sick again in a matter of days.
• Your immune system feels like its one weekend away from collapsing completely.
• Naps become more important part of your day.
• "You don't look sick to me". No, but my kidneys feel like they're failing so there's that.
• When you finally feel healthy again, it's an emotional experience for you. 

I'm not sure I'll ever hit that last one again but occasionally I can sit still and feel no aches, pains, or anything else for about 30 seconds.... Until I move and then it all starts up again.

And no, if you  haven't walked the walk, you can't tell me how I feel.

We aren't just our ailments

So I have a breast cancer blog because I have had breast cancer. I blog daily but not necessarily about breast cancer. Even when I first started blogging, it wasn't all about breast cancer. Sometimes it was about stupid doctors, or people lost in the parking garage, or other things.

Now its probably less about breast cancer and more about other things. Why? Because I am not just about breast cancer. I am about a bunch of other ailments and a lot of other things. I am a college graduate who works in both marketing and IT. I design and manage websites. I do catalog layout and design.I am happily married and we have two new cats who drive us crazy. And I go to the damn doctor too much.

I think all of us unhealthy people have a tendency to be defined by their ailments. I mean we might blog about them, or go to the doctor for them, or take a day (or ten) off work for them. But we are more than them.

We are men and women, tall and short, many different sizes and colors and religions and believes. We live in all parts of the world. The only thing we do have in common is we have an ailment.

We also do not want to answer questions about our health daily. I have a friend who asks me, every time I talk to her, how I am feeling. This is new since my second cancer but don't ask me in that tone, please. (You know what I mean.)

We are so much more than our ailments. Please let us be all of ourselves, not just our ailments.